Let Your Erotic Flag Fly

As a holistic practice we explore and honer our patients, religious and spiritual journeys. Often our patients share thier experience with some sort of disconnect with their faith; sometimes this is in relation to past sexual trauma or sexual dysfunction. Other times it is difficulty connecting thier understanding of a divine OTHER and a healthy expression of thier sexualtiy. This can be due to a lifetime of messages based on guilt and shame. Exploring a person's beliefs and values is essential to a balanced and integrative sexuality. Turner Professional Group has invited guest blogger, Carrah Quigley, to share her insight and expertise as a guest blogger on spirituality. 

Lately, I have been thinking about poet, Audre Lorde and her understanding of what the word erotic meant: “When I speak of the erotic, then, I speak of it as an assertion of the lifeforce of women; of that creative energy empowered, the knowledge and use of which we are now reclaiming in our language, our history, our dancing, our work, our lives.” Audre’s understanding of the erotic had nothing to do with pornography or overt sexuality. It had to do with “lifeforce,” that slight electrical charge we have when we are centered, empowered and content. I also believe that this is not exclusively for women, but for all people to experience. The erotic, as defined here, is about taking your full self out into the world with confidence - the kind of empowerment which inspires others.

Maccu Picchu, Peru

As a spiritual counselor, Carrah aides others increating a spiritual life that is fulfilling and uniquely crafted to meet their personal needs,what she calls, “Spiritual Makeovers.” Over the last ten years, her awareness has alsoturned to helping those inflicted with spiritual wounds. With her academic knowledgeand intuitive counseling she provides a deeper understanding of how to heal wounds without abandoning faith. She holds a Master's Degreewith distinction, in Ecumenics from Trinity College Dublin, Ireland and a Bachelor's in Religious Studies from University of Arizona. She studied at Union Theological Seminary in New York and completed graduate courses in the History of Islam and Christianity at UMKC and Conflict Resolution Studies in Belfast, Northern Ireland. She is currently studying to become a Certified Spiritual Counselor through the American Institute of Health Care Professionals .

There are subtle ways in which we shut down parts of ourselves when we enter certain environments. We may feel that people will only accept parts of who we are - that if they knew the “real” us or the “whole” story they would reject us or judge us. If we believe we are to fracture ourselves into sex life - business life - married life - parent life - son/daughter life, then how will we ever feel whole? Why do we invest so heavily in believing we will be shunned rather than expecting to be embraced?
What would happen if we connected together all of our separate selves and lived as full beings with our electric “lifeforce?” With nothing to hide and nothing to keep secret, would we be less stressed, less confined and more available to those around us? What is holding us back from living with “erotic power,” as Audre Lorde defines it? What would happen if we refused to hide and lived with all of our quirks and burps on the outside, readily available for view?

I believe this form of keeping secrets, fracturing, leads to distortion and destruction in our lives. Whatever it is that we hide or conceal from others is in direct proportion to how much we hide (or wish to hide) from our own consciousness. It is not so much that people will reject us, but that we have already rejected parts of who we are ourselves. I move that we begin to take small risks in opening these parts up to our friends and family; to move fully and boldly through the world without the exhausting methods of concealment and secrecy.

To conclude, I will once again refer to Miss Lorde and her wisdom, “Another important way in which the erotic connection functions is the open and fearless underlining of my capacity for joy. In the way my body stretches to music and opens into response, hearkening to its deepest rhythms, so every level upon which I sense also opens to the erotically satisfying experience, whether it is dancing, building a book- case, writing a poem, examining an idea.” Amen, Audre. May we all have the courage to fully express our fullest selves and to embrace our life force, to touch others and get that chain reaction total acceptance spread around the world. Joy is waiting.

- Carrah