Robin Williams: Brings Attention to Suicide & Depression Help

 With the recent news of Robin Williams, we thought it important to share some resources for those dealing with depression. When addiction and depression run together they increase the odds for suicide.

Depression can look different in different people. The severity of symptoms can vary and a person might not experience every sign.

You cant always tell when someone is depressed. For many their inner world is masked by a variety of coping skills: smiles, joking, distance, anger, drinking, and chaos. Unresolved pain can overwhelm a person. Many suffer in isolation. Sharing our truth can be healing.

Signs of depression can include:

• Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
• Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
• Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
• Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
• Appetite and/or weight changes
• Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
• Restlessness, irritability
• Persistent physical symptoms

 If you or someone is considering self harm, there is help. Dont be afraid to talk about it and don't hesitate to ask for help. A great resource to talk to someone at anytime is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Talking to someone can be the life raft that a person needs. Medications can also be a part of managing depression. Natural tools for helping with depression  can include: walking or increasing your physical activity, petting a loved dog or cat, calling a trusted friend, yoga, prayer, orgasm with a partner or alone.

'SEX DOC' Wins! Dr. George Turner Has Victory Over License Plate Battle with Missouri Appeals Court: Makes Case That Sexual Health is a Human Right.

Dr. Turner picks up his plates

August 08, 2014

Initial Application Feb 2013

Kansas City social worker, marriage therapist and sexuality expert, Dr. George Turner, recently won his 1.5 year battle with the State of Missouri over his license plate, SEX DOC. “This became about more than celebrating my PhD in sexual health with a personalized license plate”, shared Turner. “I found it repugnant that a small governmental group was imposing their sex negative views without any justification or guidelines. It was clear to me that they saw sexuality as something bad, embarrassing or dirty. As a sexual health advocate, this was not the community standard that I could endorse. This is about reclaiming the dialogue from one of sexual shame to sexual literacy. Simply put this is a social justice issue for me,” shared Turner.

A state appeals court said Turner, a certified sex therapist in Kansas City, is entitled to his personalized license plate as part of marketing his business as a psychotherapist. “Putting SEX DOC out there is a way to help people start a conversation. Too often others are trying to silence conversations on sexuality. My patients suffer from this shaming and I don’t think the state of Missouri has any place it perpetuating this kind of psychological harm. It is my intent to destigmatize problems related to sexual health,” shared Turner.
 

The Administrative Hearing Commission rejected Turner’s petition in February 2013, claiming that the word “sex” was “obscene and patently offensive”. After several failed attempts by phone and letter to receive justification from the Commission for this decision, Turner, argued his case in Jefferson City last January. Turner was shocked to learn that the Commission has no guidelines to make these decisions, but unilaterally rejects all applications with the word ‘sex’.

Turner stated, “Sex negativity can often be used to fuel oppression of groups. I work to eliminate the toxic messages and repressive policies that ban positive sexuality education and knowledge to the shadows. Silencing sexuality creates an environment ripe for sexism and sexual misuse. You need to look no further to find the impact of this than in our own community”. Turner cited examples like the KC juror, Laura Trickle, (2013) fined for breast feeding her child or how rape culture perpetuates victim blaming similar to the case of Maryville youth, Daisy Coleman (2013).  “Sexuality is a human right and access to comprehensive, medically accurate, age-appropriate, sexuality information is key to sexual health. My goal is to move our culture beyond the sexual dysfunction, disease, disaster model,” shared Turner.

Turner presented evidence that the word “sex” is not obscene, including the dictionary

Dr. George Turner

Administrative Hearing

Jefferson City, MO. Feb 2013

definition  according to Webster. When one of the two attorneys for the state asked, “how do you explain that to a five-year old?” Turner shared, “As a sexuality educator I saw this as a great opportunity to expand the conversation into real and practical applications, and I gently tried to highlight to the attorney that that would be a teachable moment, one where he as the parent can pass along his views and values on the topic.” Turner also noted, “I think this attorney, like many parents, was scared and not sure how he would approach a potentially uncomfortable topic with his child. So I shared the book series by Robie Harris with him afterwards. Books like, Its Perfectly Normal, are a phenomenal sex ed tool for families. In some ways it felt like another day at the office, providing sexually accurate information so that parents can raise sexually literate children. Most parents want what is best for their kids and most want better sex ed than they had. They just don’t have the comfort or skills. That’s where I often come into the picture, helping parents craft a message and lesson plan for their kids. It’s a great job!” stated Turner.

 

One of the attorney’s stated, “there’s a lot of questions out there, when you put the word ‘sex’ out there in public…That’s really the gist of it and why we denied it”. Addressing this concern, Turner responded, “The word sex is already out in public. I believe the attorney’s statements were based in fear and tipped his hand that he saw this as a personal duty to protect children, his children. It also echoed a common myth about sexuality education and that is it is one big conversation about reproduction at some ambiguous age when the youth is old enough. However, censoring my license plate because of your uncomfortableness with sexuality is akin to putting your head in the sand. I empathize with the attorney and share his concern for providing a safe community for children, but ignorance is not an effective strategy. A better approach would be many small conversations that are based in comprehensive, medically accurate, age appropriate sexuality education”.

Sex After Menapause... It Shouldnt Have To Hurt!

We can talk about erections and Viagra ads are everywhere on TV. Shouldnt we also be able to talk about a woman's sex life. Finally women are demanding more information and some are taking a humorous approach. Ali Wentworth makes the topic of sex after menapause a bit easier, but highlights the importance that our sex life is important... even into our older years.

Often vaginal dryness is a part of menapause for women... but no one talks about it. A certified sex therapist can be a welcomed coach for sexual health.

Points to consider:

1. Our bodies are constantly changing. Dont hold yourself hostage to the former you. You are a sexual person today, just different than your younger self. Learn to enjoy your body as it is today.
   
2. Use it or lose it! It important for vaginal health to keep blood flow to the area. You can do that alone as part of your self care. Regular vaginal massage can help avoid pain. We often recommend for patients to schedule regular time for vaginal rejuvination by using hands and sexual aides, such as a vibrator.
3. LUBE, LUBE, LUBE. We cant sing the praise for commercial lubrication enough for making sex pleasurable. As women ages, her natural lubrication often is less. Invest in a quality product.
4. Increase your sexual literacy. Ask a sex therapist!

1. Be a wise sexuality shopper. Become an informed consumer of sexuality products. Leave the cheap bacherlorette products as gag gifts. You deserve quality sexual health products. Learn about the best lube to use for vaginal dryness at  A Women's Touch.

Sex Positive Parenting... Whats that look like?

"Mom, why do I have a belly button?"; "How can you tell if a girl really likes you?"; "Why cant I wear makeup... all the other girls are doing it?" These are only some of the questions, parents have presented to our sexualy professionals in order to gain some insight and help in responding to their kids. Most parents want to offer sex positive parenting. They want better for their kids than they got regarding sex ed. They just dont know where to start. The above linc provides some examples.

The number one piece of advice we give parents is ...Prepare! And, the second tip, know that the 'birds & the bees' talk is out, you should be engaging in multiple, teachable moments that are age-appropriate throughout a childs development. Parents often get a glazed look in their eyes at this point, quickly followed by a look of terror. The great news is that our sexualty professionals can help and there are numerous tools to make it that much easier. You first need to acknowledge that you could benefit from expert guidance and next you need to take action. We tell parents, you might be a really good golf player, but who wouldnt take Tiger Woods up on some tips. We seek professional support in so many areas of our life, why not in preparing a sex education plan for your kids?

Our sexuality experts routinely meet with parents to help them develop sex positive messages for their kids. This is sometimes a one-time consultation, but most often parents find our coaching useful at numerous stages of their education with their kids. Sometime parents need in-depth help to strategize a comprhensive plan, but other time they just have quick question. So depending on the age of your child, your values, and your comfort level with the topic we will customize an approach. "Its Perfectly Normal" is a book in a series of great books to aide parents, by Robie Harris  

Parents want and need coaching in this area because most of us got little, no, or really myth-filled sex ed. We want better for our kids. We want them to be informed, sexually literate and responsible sexual people who take pride in their bodies. We want them to be great partners who can say "no" and not be shackled with shame messages.

Who is your Super Hero? Kane Smego WOWs the NASW conference... PT 2

Speaking on racism, parenting, resilience and pride, nationally recognized spoken word poet Kane Smego inspires you to consider WHAT is a super hero.

 

Kane performed at the opening session of the 2014 National Association of Social Workers conference. Moving the audience to click their fingers in appreciation.

 

This is 2nd installment highlighting this creative artist who paints his canvas with stories. This YouTube sample was done at another event but will hopefully move you as it did us. Enjoy!

 

 

Vulnerability Turns Out to be the Key to Relationship Strength

We attended the 2014 National Association of Social Workers (NASW) conference last week (July 23-26) in Washington, DC. As with most conferences, along with workshops they offer key note presentations to help unite and inspire the group. The opening plenary session delivered on this goal with social worker rock star, Brene Brown.

Sharing, "social work is not what I do; its who I am. Its how I see the world," Brene wowed NASW attendees, speaking on her halmark topics: vulnerability and shame. With Texas charm she weaved messages that we are all worthy of love but our fear of authenticity derails us. Other "Brene-isms" that resonated with the audience incluced:

"You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both"

• Debunking the myth that courageous people are not afraid. Opting to be comfortable takes you out of the arena into complacency. Courage is indeed scary.

• "Dont listen to the cheap seats"
• All too often we try to please everyone. We take in all the criticism from people who have never set foot in the arena. Everyone can have an opinion, but that doesnt mean that you have to follow it. That doesnt mean that you cant take in constructive feedback, but in today's world too many people chime in on someone's elses efforts without every joining them in the fight. Brene suggets taking a 1x1 piece of paper and writing the name of the select few people who you respect and can offer advice, suggestions, feedback that matters.

• "I want to be in the arena"
• Living your life to the fullest means living in the arena... but remember you WILL fail! You will get knocked down, you will make mistakes. The alternative is silently living invisibly on the side-lines of your life. Do not wake up one day and with regret wonder 'what if I had shown up to my life?'

• "Ther is no evidence that vulnerabilty is weakness"
• Brene's research shows that it is through risk taking and choosing to be known that we enrich and strengthen the quality of our lives. AND... its tough!

Her 2010 TED Talk (Click Here) has been viewed more than 16 million times. Her books, The Gifts of Imperfection, I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't), and Daring Greatly, are all bestsellers. Her Amazon Author Rank for self-help books is currently at #4. All this is a testament to the fact that people are hungry for her message: that it is okay to embrace your vulnerability and your imperfections, to allow yourself to have the uncomfortable feelings, and to be real.

 

X Chromosome... Hipster cool poet will move you!

Kane Smego

Part I of several installments highlighting our trip to Washington DC to participate in the National Association of Social Workers conference.

Kane Smego, inspirational poet, spoke at the NASW conference. One of his poems, "X Chromosome,  honors women. Check it out by clicking his name. He delivered a variety of smooth art via the spoken word, sharing universal stories... our truths.

This performance was done at another venue but still packs an emotional punch. Enjoy!