Parents who come after having kids often need additional support. Here are few resources:
 |
| Parents 'coming out' to thier kids may be challenging for some. |
"The first thing to note is that it is really terrific that you are taking time to consider how to sensitively approach coming out to your kids.* Here at
COLAGE we have found that as children, we really want to know the truth about our parents’ sexual orientation, and usually we have some idea before you even tell us! But just because we want to know doesn’t mean that we always are thrilled about the situation, especially initially. It can signify a big change in the family, especially when accompanied with all the transitions that come with a divorce or break-up. Here are some tips to keep in mind that might help:
It’s never too early to come out to your child/ren. Kids understand love. What they don’t understand is deception or hiding. And it’s never too late to come out to your child. COLAGE has met folks in their forties whose parents are just now coming out to them. A lot of mysteries are being solved, and missing puzzle pieces falling into place for these families. Often knowing the truth will be a relief for kids of all ages.
1. Tell your child/ren in a private space where the conversation can’t be overheard and will be completely confidential. Telling them at your regular Saturday night dinner at your favorite restaurant will be overwhelming."
C. List of Books for Kids of Gay Parents
For Children Of A Gay Parent.
*Coping When A Parent Is Gay. Deborah A Miller, Ph D
*There's Something I've been Meaning To Tell You. Laralee Pike.
D. Other Helpful Books
Gay Help Books For Parents, Friends And Families Of Gay,
Lesbian And Bisexual Children
* Family Secrets: Gay Sons – A Mother’s Story Jean M Baker. Haworth Press, 1997
*How Homophobia Hurts Children: Nurturing Diversity at Home and at School Jean Baker. Harrington Park Press, 2002
*Straight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together
Robert A Bernstein, Thunder’s Mouth Press, 1995
*Straight Parents, Gay Children: Inspiring Families to Live Honestly and with Pride Robert Bernstein, Thunder’s Mouth Press, 2003
*Family Outing Chastity Bono. Little, Brown and Company, 1999
*Adolescence: A Guide For Parents Michael Carr-Gregg and Erin Shale. Shale Finch Publishing, 2002
*Loving Someone Gay D Clark. Celestial Arts, 1997
*Our Daughter Martha: A Family Struggles with Coming Out Marcy Clements Henrickson. Pilgrim Press, 2001
*A Mother Looks at the Gay Child Jesse Davis. New Falcon Publications, 1997
*Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey Betty Degeneres. Quill, 2000
*Now That You Know Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward. Harvest Books, 1998
*Not Like Other Boys: Growing Up Gay – A Mother and Son Look Back Marlene Fanta Shyer and Christopher Shyer. Alyson Books, 1997
*Coming Out, Coming Home Joan Golding and Peter Wood. Spectrum, 1998
*Out of the Twilight: Father’s of Gay Men Speak Andrew Gottlieb. Haworth Press, 2000
*Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences Griffen et al. St Martin’s Press, 1997
*Is it a Choice? Eric Marcus. Harper San Francisco, 1999
*What if Someone I Know Is Gay? Eric Marcus. Price Stern Sloan Publications, 2000
*My Child is Gay Bryce McDougall (ed). Independent Publishers Group, 1998
*Different Daughters: A Book by Mothers of Lesbians Louise Rafkin (ED). Cleis Press, 2001
*Out of the Closet, Into Our Hearts: Celebrating Our Gay/Lesbian Family Members
Laura Siegel and Nancy Lamkin Olson. Leyland Publications, 2001
*Coming Out As Parents: You and Your Homosexual Child David K Switzer. Westminster John Knox Press, 1997
*Friends and Family: True Stories of Gay America’s Straight Allies Dan Woog. Alyson Books, 1999
The number one piece of advice we give parents is ...Prepare! And, the second tip, know that the 'birds & the bees' talk is out, you should be engaging in multiple, teachable moments that are age-appropriate throughout a childs development. Parents often get a glazed look in their eyes at this point, quickly followed by a look of terror. The great news is that our sexualty professionals can help and there are numerous tools to make it that much easier. You first need to acknowledge that you could benefit from expert guidance and next you need to take action. We tell parents, you might be a really good golf player, but who wouldnt take Tiger Woods up on some tips. We seek professional support in so many areas of our life, why not in preparing a sex education plan for your kids?
Our sexuality experts routinely meet with parents to help them develop sex positive messages for their kids. This is sometimes a one-time consultation, but most often parents find our coaching useful at numerous stages of their education with their kids. Sometime parents need in-depth help to strategize a comprhensive plan, but other time they just have quick question. So depending on the age of your child, your values, and your comfort level with the topic we will customize an approach. "Its Perfectly Normal" is a book in a series of great books to aide parents, by Robie Harris 
