Vulnerability Turns Out to be the Key to Relationship Strength

We attended the 2014 National Association of Social Workers (NASW) conference last week (July 23-26) in Washington, DC. As with most conferences, along with workshops they offer key note presentations to help unite and inspire the group. The opening plenary session delivered on this goal with social worker rock star, Brene Brown.

Sharing, "social work is not what I do; its who I am. Its how I see the world," Brene wowed NASW attendees, speaking on her halmark topics: vulnerability and shame. With Texas charm she weaved messages that we are all worthy of love but our fear of authenticity derails us. Other "Brene-isms" that resonated with the audience incluced:

"You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both"

• Debunking the myth that courageous people are not afraid. Opting to be comfortable takes you out of the arena into complacency. Courage is indeed scary.

• "Dont listen to the cheap seats"
• All too often we try to please everyone. We take in all the criticism from people who have never set foot in the arena. Everyone can have an opinion, but that doesnt mean that you have to follow it. That doesnt mean that you cant take in constructive feedback, but in today's world too many people chime in on someone's elses efforts without every joining them in the fight. Brene suggets taking a 1x1 piece of paper and writing the name of the select few people who you respect and can offer advice, suggestions, feedback that matters.

• "I want to be in the arena"
• Living your life to the fullest means living in the arena... but remember you WILL fail! You will get knocked down, you will make mistakes. The alternative is silently living invisibly on the side-lines of your life. Do not wake up one day and with regret wonder 'what if I had shown up to my life?'

• "Ther is no evidence that vulnerabilty is weakness"
• Brene's research shows that it is through risk taking and choosing to be known that we enrich and strengthen the quality of our lives. AND... its tough!

Her 2010 TED Talk (Click Here) has been viewed more than 16 million times. Her books, The Gifts of Imperfection, I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't), and Daring Greatly, are all bestsellers. Her Amazon Author Rank for self-help books is currently at #4. All this is a testament to the fact that people are hungry for her message: that it is okay to embrace your vulnerability and your imperfections, to allow yourself to have the uncomfortable feelings, and to be real.

 

X Chromosome... Hipster cool poet will move you!

Kane Smego

Part I of several installments highlighting our trip to Washington DC to participate in the National Association of Social Workers conference.

Kane Smego, inspirational poet, spoke at the NASW conference. One of his poems, "X Chromosome,  honors women. Check it out by clicking his name. He delivered a variety of smooth art via the spoken word, sharing universal stories... our truths.

This performance was done at another venue but still packs an emotional punch. Enjoy!

Dr. George Turner and Lisa Meyers, sexual health experts, speak at the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) conference in DC

Lisa Myers and Dr. George Turner
Turner Professional Group

Local sexual health experts, Dr. George Turner and Lisa Meyers of Turner Professional Group, spoke on Sexuality and Disability in Washington DC at the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) conference. George and Lisa are clinicians and researchers with over 50 years between them working with adults with intellectual disabilities (ID). Partnering once again with Dr. Mary Rita Weller, they spoke to over 30 social workers on increasing their skills working with people with ID.


 The three-tiered presentation shared with participants the experiences of three disability professionals who also have the unique vantage point of being licensed social workers involved in research, therapy and education around sexuality and persons with intellectual disability. Dr. Turner shared, “A mother and social worker came up to me after our presentation near tears thanking us for our work. She acknowledged that she had had no training in this area during her graduate education and as a mom to someone with ID, she is frustrated with so little support for her daughter around sexuality.” Turner added, “This is why our work is so crucial. This is a call for social workers to get more education on sexuality and people with disabilities. We need to get better trained mental health practitioner out there, and social workers are perfectly positioned to take up this challen

 



Dr. Mary Rita Weller, Dr. George Turner & Lisa Meyers

The trio of disability advocates highlighted case vignettes to make the case for social workers to engage in better research, education and mental health counseling in the area of sexual health. Lisa Meyers noted the lack of mental health professionals with the expertise to work with people with intellectual disabilities who are also trained in sexual health. “People with disabilities need to be sexually literate if we are going to facilitate full community integration with the promise of a quality life”, shared Meyers. “Sometimes that means I work with the parents to help them see that their ‘baby’ is no longer a child, but an adult with the desire for companionship, romance… a meaningful life of love”.

 

George & Lisa present on Sexuality and Disability AAIDD Conference

George Turner, Lisa Meyers, Mary Rita Weller
AAIDD Conference 2014, Orlando Fl.

Local disability experts, Dr. George Turner and Lisa Meyers of Turner Professional Group, spoke on Sexuality and Disability at the 138^th American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (AAIDD) conference held in Orlando Fl. They partnered with a colleague, Dr. Mary Rita Weller, to present a paper entitled, “Taboo & Overlooked – Sexuality and Intellectual Disability: A Call for Better Research, Therapy & Education”.  Over fifty disabilty professionals attended including academics, direct service professionals, and administration,  as well as self advocates and parents.

Since 1876, AAIDD has been providing worldwide leadership in the field of intellectual and developmental disabilities. AAIDD, (formerly AAMR -- American Association on Mental Retardation) is the oldest and largest interdisciplinary organization of professionals and citizens concerned about intellectual and developmental disabilities.

The three-tiered presentation shared with participants the experiences of three disability professionals who also have the unique vantage point of being licensed social workers involved in research, therapy and education around sexuality and persons with intellectual disability. Dr. Turner shared, “With over 50 professionals from disability services and disability studies, our presentation has implications to bring a positive light on sexuality and people with intellectual disabilities. As professionals we need to listen to what our clients and consumers are saying about their social-sexual needs, desires and hopes. They cannot afford us to put our heads in the sand.”

Lisa Meyers speaking about her clinical
work with people with ID.
AAIDD Conference 2014

While Dr. Turner focused on encouraging more research in this area, Dr. Weller spoke on education and Lisa Meyers discussed clinical psychotherapy with this group. Ms. Meyers highlighted that, “the challenge is to find trained mental health professionals who are also familiar in working with people with disabilities. It’s rare to have this kind of expert available to people with intellectual disabilities. So while there are numerous psychotherapists in the community they often do not understand the nuances of differing communication patterns of someone with a disability or they unknowingly discount the possibility of them being sexual.” Dr. Turner added, “People with ID want and need human connectivity, just like the rest of us. The problem is access and a system that does not support their need for romance, sex, or risk taking. We hoped to dispel stereotypical portrayal of disability and sexuality and encourage professionals to bridge this service delivery gap.”

George and Lisa met Charles Archer, the AAIDD Chair of the Special Interest Group on Sexuality,  and got to network with other colleagues in the field. "Maintaining a connection to professional colleagues and giving back to the field through conference presentations is an important way for TPG to be relevant. As leaders in the field of disabilities, we strongly believe in cultivating learning and moving the field forward to providing better support and services", shared Lisa.

Can Women Like Sex?

Yes,  YES, YESSS!!!

Advant garde sexuality educator and matron of the female orgasm has some views that might push a few buttons. Female sexuality can be exhilirating, but lots of women are missing out. They have been conditioned to live in shame about their bodies and their sensuality. Many of our patients are shocked to learn about the myths and falsehoods that they have bought into for so many years. Women can LOVE sex...  Listen with an open heart to this Sage advocate, Betty Dodson, on female sexuality and pleasure.

Coming-out Issues for LGBTs: Connections to Substance Use and Treatment

Addiction and the sexual orientation is thoughtfully explored by Dr. Raven James in her blog.

Anorexia: Not Just An Adult Crisis

We know we are bombarded by image obsessed media focused on the "perfect" body. For years the stereotype was that eating disorders, anorexia and bulimia were only problems faced by straight, young, white females, but gay men also have a higher prevalence of eating disorders. However, eating disorders are not just an adult crisis. Children also are at risk. Family therapy has a 50-70% success rate for children at risk for anorexia. Learn the signs and seek help. Take an online screening test  at the National Eating Disorders Association.